Frail

Every blow pushes against my flesh
I am the body and the coffin
of the death of my youth.
I went from vivacious to viral in one second,
I looked up
there was youth stepping through the door.
I should step away from the keys
hide away
accept defeat
count my blessings
and everything else I am told to feel
by you, by them, by the voice pounding within.
All I’ve got is this pop life to pretend
floating in circles in the moat of my head
round and round until I am dead.
No more heart palpations
secret hoping to pretend
no more confidences to hold in hushes
no more first times for anything.
My tears are the mark of the beast
vanity streaked with folly
I tried to convince myself to drive off that bridge
but I even fail at drama.