Peitho, Pandora, Persephone, Pandia, Phoebe

Peitho
desire pulses through me, like sap to tree,
passion, energy stirred into frenzy,
I want more, never quite enough.
I scream, from mountain tops to couches,
satisfaction is not found upon this crust
with men laying all around, not one to touch.
I agreed to this arrangement
not knowing the breath or breed
of a man who is all but barren
of life but not of seed.

Pandora
I pray to thee, give me the answer.
Why create this mystery?
I’m way outside my boundaries.
I’ve wandered into the valley
of freedom and confusion.
Can this lead to anything
noble, depraved or indifferent.
No longer am I a satisfied spirit.
The door will not shut
no matter how hard I try.

Persephone
raise me up from this pit I have dug,
release the curse that binds me.
The fire burns within me
but I know not what shines above.
Hollowed soul if there ever was one
lost in the darkness of my night.
This winter cannot end yet,
for my soul bares no seed for fruit.
I make my offering to you
upon this carcass I do root.

Pandia
we are one, your light is my way
Silver shone in night time
I trust you all the same.
Walk beside me in the dark;
cast your light upon my shadows.
I’ve lost my way so many times,
It’s you who leads me home.
Lead me to a resting place
and let my spirit propagate
upon this earth I’ve grown.

Phoebe
Lady of wild things,
hold my hand and walk with me.
In moonlight and darkness be my guide.
I am as wild as the beasts in shadow;
I am as strong as the wolf inside.
I am as meek as the things that crawl.
Let us join Pandia on the moonlight ride.
Evolve with me from this maddening drawl.
Stoke the fires and cast the embers
keep my soul burning bright.

Electric Cage

I played with fire,
dipped my toes into a lava bed of licentious thought
hair fell over my shoulders to hide the blush of want,
the crowned glory - desire took hold
I sang into the night, skin aflame with fervent dew.

If the night brought but one dream
I willed it to be your velvet touch across my skin
from nape to thighs, I unfolded for you in layers
hard and soft, hard and soft
my blouse fell from shoulders in anticipation
mouth on skin, lips smoothed by use.

My pulse rose in my ears
consumed by the hum of breath, quickened,
paced rhythm matched with yours,
tidal wave of heat rushed and dug-in
under the surface
hands formed the currents
it passed through me into the hurried molten moment.

Desire needed no relief in rushed torment,
for it grew into the night, awakened me
each dawn I fell back into darkness,
if I should ever gain relief,
respite from the electric cage,
I may shatter before ever being touched.

In the Cavern of My Heart, I Find You

I yell to you of broken spirit,
secret seeker of the divinity of sadness,
enquirer of the edge,
peaked in attention to sensuality,
experienced.

Ye of little and all faith,
your sun dances around with orbiting planets once more in hope of clarity,
a sense of justice,
falsely sought in tangles of webs
upon tendrils of weeds from your garden beds
spilling onto mine and intertwined with vine
and lie to speak in shadows.

Fear in the heart of men,
frozen to the choices that keep one from traversing
the mystery of the unknown. 

Dive,
dive into the abyss with me or with the love of your dreams,
in time,
just to see a face looking back at you with eyes in love see,
your face is the one reflecting back at you
the beauty, the grace which has always been,
beautiful reflection of masculinity,
do not fear your gentle spirit,
your grace,
of all the hearts I love yours the most,
if this line reaches you.

Adult I

The mask is complete, firmly sealed at all the edges,
never did I learn the timing of life.
I will die and not be known, by you or any other.
I shouted from the roof tops for my spirit to be free,
to mingle through my body with yours
anyone pouring through me, and I a sieve, a filter
of the good stuff, the juice, the marrow
the dark of life birthing from within my heart to yours
sparks ignite the flame fierce and glowing embers
melt and blur the edges of my heart, my story my life.

Drowning now and no one sees
anything but the mask, honesty in vein if all truth is
kept inside against the pain of rejection
fear the bindings that tighten, blood creases blend
ropes tighten, mask complete, now rocks
to sink to the bottom, silent and serene.

Before the Dawn

I craved
rings pressed in the space of your fingers -
flesh filled gaps
raised heart beats,
my eyes widened, darted,
I looked away
pretended I was blind -
your smell rendered the certainty of flesh
both saline and sweet.

Your hands reached up slowly,
in my mind I traced the shapes
as you tugged at the nape of your hair -
other hand hid a secret,
pants taut across thighs
your belt dug at the waist,
polished emblem pressed against your stomach.

You stood and I shifted
adjusted my dress,
apparent in my craving -
my toes stretched
hoped for a connection -
I hastily tucked knees to chest,
retracted, hoped to hide.

I looked for reasons to stay
ignored the morning birds’ call
I wanted to be bracelets
imagined I hugged the delicacy of your wrist,
where palms met black vinyl
played one more side -
my eyes closed, briefly
smell elucidated the knowledge of flesh so close.

 

 

 

A sketch

When I die I hope you are there
To greet me on the other side or to share
The story of who I was in this life
Tell my stories to the grand children
Who never knew this me that you
Know in your heart is the truth.

This is Magical

Pure Magic

I gather myself in many ways from top to bottom, wrung together.

Hair, make-up, skin, under and on top, I dress in shoes, jacket, and a magic bag for the night.

First apparition, white roses in a rainbow, arching across my path. Stop to fill my hair with the pureness of blossoms shining down like feathered kisses just for me.

Nervous to the point of nausea, a vision in white. Tromping up the street, I am somewhere between Frida, mom and go-go dancer. Betsy Johnson on one side and hydrangea on the other, 12 blocks of beautiful skies and David Bowie in my ears.

Sound and vision I take in my home by the sea, top of the hill sunshine and ocean, all the while thinking about what he might be doing tonight.

Shake those thoughts you silly girl, this night is for you and what is to come. A question and an answer I am open to the magic that this will be. The power to shape and create, in my eyes, my heart, my mind my womb. Bring others who know such power.

Party is in the back.  Simple sign leads the way to a flowered path, and there just beyond in the sunset shadows, ladies await goblets in hand, feathers, flowers and adornments in hair. Traded out baby wraps, jeans, V-neck tees. This is for us, for me for we. We are dressed for magic and a ceremony unknown to any.

Alter of divinity, disguised as wine and cheese, laid out before us we feast, partake in the greenery. We share our stories, our drinks our hugs. Sun setting, tween time coming in, the magic begins. A lull, a rush, a roar, flesh donned clothes shed.

Into the cauldron, boil and bubbly spritzers, nips and knees touching to see how many we can squeeze into the space we need. Our laughter uproarious through the trees. Songs begin, first of servitude then of fierce fiery crocodiles who will devour anyone who dare stop us.

Roses flow from my hair into the water, the broth stews, and perfumed women crackle with energy steaming with life. Apparitions fill our goblets to keep the magic alive. A blessing to the one who brings us together, tonight, for life we are bonded in this night of pure magic.

Stories of unicorns lost in the woods of our hearts but never forgotten, future dreams, forgiveness, these are just some of the themes that run around the fire and flowers that smell of springtime on our hands, in our hugs. Remembering how we ended up here in this exact moment, a celebration of a life lived, a life in transition, this moment now and gone.

Late night remains, we share in the smoke of peace and divinity before we part. Sky haired goddess departs for the night, raven-haired host returns to the motherland. I on the left side guard against the shadow, the crocodile snatcher flanked on the right to guide our goddess home for the night. One last venture, dreams of the homes, which will be ours to continue this magical melee and then it is over, circle broken, magic complete.

Wild Abandonment

The sun shining is of no consequence

Heart beats, all I can think of is you since

Our late night flitted conversation by fingers

The possibility of touching you lingers

On my mind all the time, I’m waiting for the moment.

Having to pretend, when can I tell you the torment?

To speak of this flirtation is to be damned.

The only one, I know you will understand,

The yearning and search to be free or to be more,

One foot in the room and one foot out the door.

Our power house lovers do what they want

With no consequence of feelings, they flaunt,

Their loves with indifference and emotional distance.

Music, art or men it doesn’t make a difference.

My heart rate raises when I see you,

Struggles to wake-up, transcend, anew.

Torment, is hearing your voice say my name.

I no longer tell, is it real or game?

Has my mind created this to soften the blow?

When love changes from hearts to hands how do you know?

Confused, I want to kiss or talk your ear off.

I am shy and awkward worried you will scoff

At the questions I want to ask you in advance.

Is this thing real? Would you be patient in this dance?

Our eyes continue to see what we cannot say

Now friend, what is the proper time to stay away?

This would not be the first time I was a fool

I’m dropping my façade, I quit playing cool.

We kept going with a hint of blush in your cheek.

Our eyes met, my words soft, your hands fumbled, both meek.

What do I say to keep the conversation going?

My heart still flutters, wishing, dreaming without knowing.

Seeking Seekers